ive had extreme mood swings lately. just a week ago i was so fockinggggg piiiiisseeeddddd at every little thing......and then i started being really worried about everything i have to do like hw, projects and orch auditions for next year, wondering if i could really see all these jrockers...and i was so anxious when i thought about it, it became slightly difficult to breath. and now...i feel really empty. bored...yet i dont really want to do anything at the same time. iono...kind of uncomfortable. i dont know what to say, nor what to do. i kind of dont want to say anything..i just kind of want to be by myself and sit alone in silence under the warm sun. i dont know why i feel so uncomfortable. i picked up my violin today...and when i was playing i was like "i dont even care anymore if i dont make the top orchestra...i dont even want to do this..." and when i see homework and responsibilities, i know i should... but i just dont even want to try. like its getting worse and worse...my loss of will to do...anything. i dont think there should be any reason why i feel like this. not like i have or am doing anyting that stressful, and nothing bad has happened. if anything...only good things have happened. but i feel pretty void anyways...iono. i just feel...so weird. and unmotivated. and i havent drawn in a while ._______. ehhhhhhh....i feel so strange and lost. not like its a big deal...or that im sad or anything. its just i feel a little somethings wrong with me. but i guess this is a passing time of youth.

actually...NO! this is all an attitude problem. its all how i see things....if im more positive i'll feel better! eh!